10/29 NaNo-ing and other life adventures

I've participated in NaNoWriMo for the (almost) last 6 years. 2009 I didn't really know what it was but I wrote a ton that year, 2010 - 2013 I actually used the site and participated, 2014 I updated my profile and told myself I was going to make it happen and apparently never did (I can't even find a file saved anywhere that indicates I started to write). 2015 brought a new life and a new house and a new boyfriend and I definitely didn't have time even though I thought about it most of the year. And now we're into 2016 and I'm telling myself I'm going to make that attempt again. However instead of novel-ing, I'm going to make an attempt at blogging. Even just writing that out terrifies me a little. Heh. Great.

I will apparently never learn that November is the WORST month for me to try to do anything at all outside of work. November means Thanksgiving, which means Black Friday, which means the start of the crazy holiday season at work, which also means that even though I only clock 40 hours on the work week I might actually spend about 55 in the store, which means WHY DO I TRY TO WRITE IN NOVEMBER. It's still October and I'm already stressed about work. This can't be a good idea.

But It's still going to be an attempt. That's why I figured it was a good idea to dust off ye olde blog that hasn't seen the light of day in 4 years and dive in headfirst. That's also why there's been a few updates in the last few days. Stretching out the writing fingers, and getting used to putting "creative content" out on a semi-regular basis. I'm making the possibly naive assumption that by just blogging instead of creating a novel it can be a slightly more relaxing process since there won't have to be too much planning that goes into it, but again: we'll see. I'm already mentally prepared for the lapse that comes at the 20,000 word mark when I want to give up but then remember that we're only just over a third of the way through and giving up that early is embarrassing.

After abandoning this post for a good 10 minutes I've discovered that I need to find a way to count my words in whatever I end up using to write for the month. For what I can find, neither Blogger or the word documents on my computer have a word count feature and that's a bummer. The software I used to use on my laptop was great, but apparently it's only for OS X and not anything I can get for Windows which is a double bummer. I guess that'll be tomorrow's project. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. As always.

Edit: Google Docs it is. That should have been an obvious choice.
Double Edit: Before this edits, my word count was only 488. HA. I forgot what 1667 words a day looks like. What have I done to myself.

10/28 Fire alarms and 3D printers

Thankfully those two subjects are not actually related. Although if we're trying to go in chronological order the 3D printer technically came first, but for the sake of making a semi-decent story to follow the fire alarms can be the first topic. Lets be real, there's not much I can elaborate on having to be at work at 5am to have the fire alarms tested, and then listen to the piercing shrieks for the next 3 hours at 6 minute intervals, all while trying to crunch business numbers and make a schedule. My Wednesday morning was not the best.

Monday, however, brought the arrival of a new-to-us 3D printer which has been by far one of the coolest purchases the boyfriend has made. Monday was Day 2 of my recovery from last Saturday night's shenanigans (There were copious amounts of beer and whiskey consumed, picking up a pizza on a 4x4, starting a bonfire with a leaf blower.....I needed 2 days to recover), and the boy also decided to take the day off just because. I'm still convinced the "just because" was actually because he knew the printer was coming, but that's another story.

We quickly blew through the basics of 1) downloading patterns/blueprints from the interwebs, and 2) creating basic shapes and designs with the construction elements provided in the programs we downloaded, and I now have a tiny fox mascot perched atop a cube-in-a-cube sitting next to a slightly asymmetrical B adorning my desk. My next project has been to make a coaster, a few festive decorations, and possibly dive into a few tiny gift ideas for Christmas. Actually, my next project will be ordering new materials from Amazon because (as expected), you fly through things much faster than originally anticipated. Also I can't be the jerk that constantly uses up the materials that the boy bought for himself even though he's kind enough to let me overtake the printer.

The designing and researching and printing has pushed ideas into my head though of things I've been contemplating for quite a while but haven't necessarily had the means to do. First being tossing around the idea of opening some kind of online shop on Etsy. Yes, there are a million and a half shops that sell crudely manufactured 3D printed trinkets, but it's still a thought.

Second being finally going back to school. I've been putting it off and putting it off for so long because "I can't afford it" and "it would interfere with my work schedule too much" but I'm kind of sick of giving myself the same excuses. I'm past the age that I have to rely on my parents, and also now that I'm out of the house I have the ability to file for my own financial aid which would be a huge factor in making that thought a possibility. The work schedule I suppose I could get around. I know I wouldn't be able to be in school full time while working full time, and I definitely can't afford to go back to part time work just to be in school full time. I don't know what I could manage, but I'm sure I could manage to work something out with the right conversations.

I've always had a half-minded interest in graphic design elements, ever since high school. For the "required" computer class elective I took a basic graphic design class (and by basic I mean the only one that was offered), and the teacher I had for that class kept encouraging me to take it further but I didn't want to listen and never did. The very short college stint that I had I took another basic/intro design class that I flew through and the professor there did the same thing but once again I didn't want to listen and thought I didn't have much interest in the matter. Turns out, after 10 years of working in an unrelated retail field I've discovered that not only do I love visual design elements, but I love anything that involves using a computer to design and create things as well. Except most software programs. Don't ask me to design a program, just give me a running and well working program to create new things with.

Who knows. We'll see, it's just a matter of time to figure things out the way I need them to go.

I'm not quite sure yet if this is a good idea or not.

Since I moved out of my parent's house last summer and in with my boyfriend, I haven't had any place that I can call "mine". Yes, we technically share the house (his house, I have minimal financial responsibility there), but there's no where in the house that I can retreat to and just have "my spot". We changed that this weekend, and it's possibly the smallest change ever, but I'm thrilled. I bought a new desk, lamp, and monitor, and he threw together a working PC for me from old bits he had laying around the house from previous technological endeavors. And now I have a mini "office" in the loft outside of the bedroom. Maybe I'll stop using quotes "eventually."

But of course, now that I have said office for whatever reason I needed it, I feel like I have to do something with it. I've had the thought itching in the back of my mind for a while now that I want to make a dive back into an online presence rather than just lurking like I tend to do, so I suppose this is the right way to go about it. We'll see. If anything, it's a nice change from just sitting on the couch in silence together scrolling the internet separately. Now we're just sitting in separate rooms (not that the loft really counts as a room, but close enough), silently scrolling the internet with the occasional Facebook message/sticker being sent just to remind the other that we're still here. 

I always feel like I get stuck in a rut of trying to produce content online for everyone else's enjoyment rather than just a creative outlet for myself, so at the moment I don't actually know what I'm going to try to do with this still other than just a digital journal really. I might throw up a recipe or two occasionally, or chronicle our camping trips during the summer but for now I think it's going to be a dumping ground at the end of the day for whatever I need to get out of my head.

If you're still here, even if it's just because you forgot to unfollow this blog, thanks for sticking around. Hopefully someone out there gets some enjoyment out of the weird things that go on in my head.

12/31: New Years Resolutions and a Quarter Life Crisis

With the end of another year drawing to a close (as I'm writing this it's 2 hours and 16 minutes until the clock hits midnight), it's that time again to make some resolutions for the new year. You know. The promises you make to yourself that you WILL go to the gym. You WILL cut down on sugary drinks and sweet foods. You WILL make an effort to keep in touch with friends and family. You will NOT spend so much money on nail polish and shoes. I think that last one might just be me, but you get the picture. Here's what I'm aiming to do for 2013:

1. Write. Whether it's blogging more, or revisiting an old NaNoWriMo piece, or starting a new short story, I need to make myself write more. I tend to forget what a release of negative energy it can be for me and there are some days I could really benefit from focusing the negativity into something productive.
2. Read. I used to challenge myself to read 50 books in a year. This year I've read 7 books. Which is completely unacceptable. I may not be able to make it to the 50 mark, but I can at least try to aim for 20-25 I think. I have 2 bookshelves that are packed full and I've probably only read about half of the books I own.
3. Take care of myself. Not just physically, but emotionally too. I spend too much time worrying about other people and things that I have no control over. That's not to say that I need to stop caring about other people, but that I need to start putting my own mental health over situations that I can't do anything about.
4. Get back into playing music. I've barley touched my keyboard this year, and my guitar has been sitting in the corner of my room collecting dust for god knows how long. I want to be able to say again that "yes, I do play piano" and "yes, I do play guitar." Not just "yeah I own a keyboard and a guitar, but I don't do much with them."
5. Go to more concerts. That's pretty self explanatory, but I've missed so many shows this year that I wanted to see because I didn't have anyone to go with and that's not a good enough excuse anymore.
6. Move out of my house. This one is more of a goal than a resolution because it's going to take a lot of financial effort to make it happen rather than just say "hey I want to do this" and bam it's done. But I think I'd be in much better situation if I can make that work.

I think that'll do it for me. Of course there's the standard "eat less fast food" and "drink less soda" and of course "work out more" but I'm at a point with those so-called resolutions that I've never held to them and I don't see any point in starting to now.

As for the Quarter Life Crisis? I'm just chugging along trying to work through that as best as I can while still keeping my sanity and liver in check. Some days are better than others and some days I'm thankful I can make it through the day without kicking a small child in the head. So. There's that.

See you in 2013!

11/22 Happy Thanksgiving!!

I know for damn sure this isn't an original post, but I don't care. In the spirit of the holidays, I'm going to tell you guys what I'm thankful for. And you'd be kidding yourself if you didn't think it would be in list form.

1. I'm thankful to be alive. That's something a lot of people (myself included) take advantage of.
2. I'm thankful for my family. As much as I gripe and complain about them some days, I wouldn't be here today without them.
3. I'm thankful for my friends. Especially those that put up with my shit when I'm having a rough time.
4. I'm thankful I have a job. It may not be my dream job, and I may not be entirely happy there, but I have a decent enough paycheck that allows me to live mostly in my comfort zone.
5. I'm thankful for for the roof over my head, food on the table, and drink in my hand.
6. I'm thankful I have the opportunities to see my favorite bands when they come to town.
7. I'm thankful for the music that keeps me sane.
8. I'm thankful for the internet and the friends it's brought me. I don't care how cheesy that sounds, but I wouldn't be here today without some of the friends I've met online.
9. I'm thankful for the Potter fandom and the opportunities it's brought me.
10. I'm thankful I have my writing as a way to express my thoughts and clear my head when necessary.
11. I'm thankful for my dogs and their unconditional love for me no matter how many bad decisions I make or what kind of mood I'm in.
12. I'm thankful to be spending Thanksgiving at home with just my parents. We always spend Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, and because of my dad's surgery we weren't going to make it over there this year. And I'm okay with that.
13. I'm thankful for the medical technology that allowed my dad to have his knee replaced and that the surgery went so well.
14. I'm thankful for all of you. If you've ever read one of my blog posts, tweets, posts on tumblr, or watched one of my videos on YouTube, I'm thankful for you giving my creative outlets a chance.

American friends, I hope you're having a great holiday and eating plenty of good food. International friends, I hope you're having a great Thursday. I love you guys <3

9/13 Project Runway, Pizza Rolls, and Presumptuous Relationships

Okay that last one was a stretch. But still relevant, I promise. Just in case there's anyone else reading this that watches Project Runway I won't spoil anything, BUT I AM BEYOND ANNOYED WITH WHO GOT SENT HOME TONIGHT. UGH. Second topic of the night: pizza rolls. We're at the point in the week where mom refuses to go grocery shopping because they're going camping this weekend and she doesn't want to haul food with them or "let it go to waste while we're gone". Uhm hello? I'll still be here most of the weekend? Apparently I'm going to survive on peanut butter and grilled cheese for the next few days. Which (while definitely not desirable) isn't the worst it could be. Anyway. My dinner tonight consisted of freezer burnt pizza rolls, because that was the closest thing to a 'meal' that I could put together. Every time I make pizza rolls I think of this video Hayley made a few years ago because it's always, always true. We can successfully send a robot to Mars, but we can't figure out how to make pizza rolls stay at a tolerable and consistent temperature for a few minutes. I'm disappointed, science.

And finally, the last order of business tonight. I'm blatantly stealing this from Hayley's latest post, but in my defense she did say for people to leave a comment on her post regarding the topic, so I feel like it's allowed. One of my favorite pastimes is tweeting passive aggressive song lyrics, so this game of "things I've always wanted to tell my ex" is right up my alley. It's called 'Songs for Boyfriends Past', and it goes a lot like this:

1. If He Cheats With You, He'll Cheat On You
2. I'd Rather Date Your Sister
3. An Introduction (Of My Fist to Your Face)
4. You Make Dashboard Confessional Sound Punk
5. I Am Not Sober Enough For This
6. The Sex Was Great, But I Still Hate You
7. Wait, You're HOW Old?
8. I Hate Your Stupid Face
9. You're Harder to Understand Than Fall Out Boy Lyrics
10. Do You Ever Stop Talking?
11. You're One Step Away From A Restraining Order
12. I'm Over It (That's A Lie)

That was slightly satisfying. I highly encourage you to do the same, and have fun with it. Leave a comment here or on Hayley's post with your own song titles, or make your own blog post on the topic. Either way, let me know because I'd love to read what some of you have to say!

9/3 A Fresh Start

First off, I refuse to believe it's September already. I will be the first to admit I'm ready for leaves changing colors, sweaters and boots, and seasonal flavored coffee drinks, but there's no way it's already that time of year.

On that note, September to me signals time for change. I think it's because it's still drilled into my head that Labor day means time for school to start, which means new everything. New classes, new people to meet, new school supplies (yes, I'm the kid that gets excited over school supply shopping), new clothes. Even after I wasn't in school myself I was coaching and working in retail, both of which operate around a school schedule so it's kept the feeling alive. It's always been a season of things changing, which is why I feel it's fitting that I started my new job this weekend. On a side note, leave it to me to always manage to start a new job on a holiday weekend. Go big or go home, right?

I know I've mentioned it before, and I'm sure it's shown in my posts during my (failed) attempt at BEDA, but I've been stuck in a rut for a while with no signs of a way out. I'm hoping I can at least start moving forward and off of this plateau I've been on for so long. If you don't already follow her, I'd like to direct you to Hayley's blog where she talked about the same kind of feelings in her post today. Another side note, if you're not following Hayley on various social media websites: WHY. Go fix that right now. Here and here, as well as her blog mentioned above.

Can we also talk for a second about how bad I am at getting things done in a timely manner if I don't absolutely have to? Like, give me a deadline for a project at work and I'll have it done before it's due. I've become a master at speed cleaning the house Sunday mornings when my parents are coming home from camping. I can write lengthy essays under ridiculous time crunches. But whenever it's something I'm doing for myself, I just take ages to get it done for no real reason. Example: I've been trying to write this post for about an hour, but I keep finding other things to do. Like painting my nails, or refreshing twitter. I'm also trying to get a video ready to upload tomorrow morning. I have it edited, but because my laptop pretty much ends up being a really expensive brick while I export things I'm getting everything else I can done before I start that process. Makes sense, right? But do I really need to continuously refresh twitter, or lurk a few specific blogs on tumblr, or watch another Mythbusters behind the scenes video on youtube? Probably not. Did I absolutely have to paint my nails even though I did them 2 days ago? No. I definitely could have made it at least 2 more days. Do I REALLY need to keep making this list longer? Nope. But I will, because it means putting off doing something else.

On that note, I think I'm done here for today. I hope you all had a fantastic Labor day! I spent mine working, as I have done every Labor day for the last 6 years. Huzzah.